Page 21 - Workbook - CLC Action

CREATING LASTING CHANGE ™

Step 1: Connect: Understand & Appreciate Their World

What’s really going on?

To influence someone, you must know what already influences them – their desires,
wants and needs. It may sound obvious, but not everyone desires the same things, and
even those who do want the same thing often want it for completely different reasons.
Uncover their Model of the World and you will learn where their pain and pleasure are
likely to come from.

• You have to understand the person you are helping change and what is
shaping them.

• You must know the individual and the context of the current situation.
• You have to understand three things about this person:

1) Their deepest needs (especially their top two Human Needs)

2) Their Model of the World (their Blueprint for how the “see” the world)
3) Their beliefs about what has to happen to make it all work for them

• You have to begin to understand the environment in which they live and its
punishment / reward system and their social context.

• You must know their beliefs, values and rules.

• You can’t try to influence somebody without knowing what influences them.
It’s a waste of time and energy and it’s arrogant.

• You have to dig; it takes time.
• You have to be proactive. You can’t be passive.

• You have to discover how the person reacts when you push them.

• You must listen / hear and seek to understand and appreciate, not to judge or
“fix” them.

Remember, you’re not setting yourself up as superior, but as someone who truly wants
to help them meet their needs. This will help you get a lot more information and enroll
them in the process of change.

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