Page 8 - The Attachment Recovery Workbook

INTRODUCTION

WTF Is Secure-ish and Why This Workbook

is Different

I’m so fucking tired of feeling like this. Either I’m obsessing over some-
one who can’t text back for 8 hours, or I’m running from someone
perfectly nice because they want to know my middle name. Is this just...
how relationships are now?

— An actual text I sent my therapist at 2am

Hey there. I’m guessing if you picked up this book, you’re somewhere between mildly annoyed and com-
pletely exhausted by your relationship patterns. Maybe you’re the one always over-analyzing every text
message, planning your wedding to someone you’ve been on three dates with, and then spiraling when
they take too long to respond. Or perhaps you’re the one who starts feeling itchy the moment someone
gets too close, suddenly finding “flaws” in the person you were just crazy about last week. Or maybe—
lucky you—you swing wildly between these two states, never quite knowing which version of yourself is
going to show up on any given day.
Welcome to the club. Pull up a chair. We’ve got snacks.

WHAT IS SECURE-ISH, ANYWAY?
I’m going to tell you something that might blow your mind: you don’t have to be completely healed to be
worthy of love. You don’t have to have a perfect attachment style to build meaningful relationships. And
you definitely don’t need to pretend you’ve got it all figured out.
That’s where “Secure-ish” comes in.

Secure-ish isn’t about reaching some mythical perfect state where you never feel triggered again. It’s
about having the awareness, tools, and compassion to navigate your attachment patterns in real-time. It’s
about progress, not perfection. It’s about knowing that healing isn’t linear but showing up for it anyway.
I created the Secure-ish approach after years of my own attachment chaos. After one too many 3am
anxiety spirals, after ghosting perfectly nice people because they wanted to meet my friends, after writing
enough unsent novel-length texts to fill a library—I realized something had to change.
But here’s what I also realized: most attachment resources either make healing sound way too simple
(“just choose better partners!”) or so complex that you need three PhDs and a lifetime of therapy to figure
it out. There had to be a middle ground.

Secure-ish is that middle ground. It’s practical. It’s messy. It’s real. And it works.

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