Page 20 - The Attachment Recovery Workbook

THE FOUR ATTACHMENT STYLES

You probably noticed in the quiz that there are four main attachment styles. Let’s break them down in
everyday terms:

Secure Attachment

These lucky bastards feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence. They don’t freak out when
you take two hours to text back, but they’re also not afraid to say “I miss you” first.

Key Traits:

► Can express needs and feelings directly

► Recovers relatively quickly from relationship setbacks
► Trusts partners until given reason not to
► Comfortable with appropriate boundaries

► Can be vulnerable without falling apart

In the Wild: “Hey, I noticed you’ve been distant this week. Is everything okay? I’m here if you want to
talk, but also respect if you need space.”
Only about 50-55% of the population has a secure attachment style. The rest of us are out here over-
thinking texts and planning escape routes from perfectly good relationships. But don’t worry—secure
attachment can be learned. That’s literally the point of this workbook.

Anxious Attachment (Preoccupied)

The overthinkers, the double-texters, the “are we exclusive yet?” after three dates folks. If uncertainty
were a poison, these people would be dead ten times over.

Key Traits:

► Hyperaware of subtle shifts in a partner’s behavior

► Strong fear of abandonment and rejection
► Tendency to overgive to “earn” love
► Difficulty trusting partner’s affection

► Prone to emotional reasoning (“if I feel like something’s wrong, something must be wrong”)

What the Hell Is Attachment Anyway | 14